If you follow me on social media then you’ll remember a few months ago when I posted this picture, letting the world know we were bringing home a new kitten.
Malea had been asking for a kitten, and even though I’m allergic, I missed having a cat in the house so I coaxed my husband into it, and after a few short weeks we were bringing home this little guy.
From the moment he came home he was perfect. We’ve owned a couple cats in our marriage, and we’ve been around a lot of our friends’ cats but Taz was different, there was something special about him. When I’d give him a bath he would barely protest, when Malea would dress him up in American Doll clothes – he would tolerate it, when our puppy would gnaw on his head – he was compliant to be the chew toy.
He was perfect. He kept me company, and snuggled with me during the day, he was Malea’s best friend when she came home from school and he hung out with Matt and had “dude time” in the evenings.
And then, in just a few short months he was gone.
We lost him last Sunday and it was traumatizing for all of us.
After I cried many many many tears, the Lord reminded me of the message I spoke at our Woman’s Retreat a few weeks ago. My message was “What happens when the dreams God gives us, don’t turn out the way we thought they would?”. In this case the dream of having a kitty in the house definitely didn’t turn out the way I thought it would, in fact it ended about 10 years short!
Just like there always are, when a dream doesn’t turn out the way we thought it would, there are so many “why’s”.
“He was perfect, why did you have to take him?”
“How could you do this to Malea’s precious little 7 year old heart?”
“I have dreamed about having another cat for a long time, why did he have to get taken from us after only 2 1/2 months?”
“Why did you give us the perfect cat, just to take him so soon?”
He was just a pet, but the death of the dream and the loss of a precious pet is a very real thing.
But what I KNOW, that I know that I know, (that I keep reminding myself) is that God is good. He is always good and He always has a plan. We have walked through much harder losses, and had to hand over so many dreams to the Lord, because they didn’t turn out the way we thought they would, but God has always turned those hard things into something beautiful.
It has never looked the way we thought it would, and often times the dream still looks dead, but God is doing something in us, so even in my mourning over my little Taz, I am excited to see how God is going to use this.
I have learned that what often times looks like the death of a dream to me, is usually the catalyst for God to do something great.
We will always miss our little buddy, and I know we will always remember him, but rather than asking “why?”, I find myself asking “what?”. “What are you up to Lord?” “I don’t understand, and I’m hurting, but what is your plan, how will you turn this into something greater, because I know that’s what you always do.”
We will always love you Taz…